After a long day of visits, phone calls, and text messages from my college students about life, I did what any person would do in 2019. I went on Instagram (post-workout) and shared a series of InstaStories on decision making. It wasn’t long (my story stayed dashes and didn’t go to dots, so it couldn’t be too long), but it was certainly blunt.

Decision Making InstaStory

I wish I saved it, but I didn’t. Ultimately, the story recapped the root of so many issues in the lives of young people (and old people). We say “yes” to little things, those things that don’t feel bad but aren’t necessarily good. Then we say “yes” to the next level up. And we do it again. And we do it again. Until we find ourselves in a situation saying “yes” to something we would never imagine saying yes to at the start of it all.

The story covered the major topics of our high school and college students. Relationships. Sex. Alcohol. Drugs. Rarely do we jump straight into the big no, instead as we make decisions, we say “yes” to something little. Yes, to attending the party. Yes, to taking a beer (to save face). Yes, to taking a sip (once again, to save face). Yes, to drinking just one more. And here we find ourselves saying “yes” to getting drunk.

Saying “yes” in relationships

Decision making in relationships is another topic I hear a lot about. Those “yes” decisions add up quickly, too. “Yes” to dating someone who doesn’t share Christian values. “Yes” to spending intense amounts of time alone. “Yes” to the kiss. “Yes” to the next thing, to the next thing, and end up saying “yes” to sex before they are ready.

The little yes can lead to negative consequences (clearly), but also can turn daily discipline into strong character. Decision making doesn’t always require us to avoid negative consequences, but allows us to build strong foundations. The daily “yes” to being positive at work, to reading your Bible, to praying for your co-workers and students – those daily “yeses” in your decision making impact the outcomes of your life.

People popped into my DM’s after the post went up. People of all ages and stages of life responded to the idea of how a little yes can impact our decision making without us even realizing it. One post was from the preacher of my home church and he asked me to share with the high school class. Honestly, my first reaction was riddled with anxiety. ‘Don’t make me have the sex talk with kids I don’t know’ crossed my mind since that was a primary focus of my InstaStory. But I agreed to come speak and focused on our discussion decision making.

King David makes horrible decisions

Let’s walk through this passage together – 2 Samuel 11:2-27… it’s pretty wild.

Decisions #1 and #2

² It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. 

Decision #1 – David had sent his army to go fight a battle on his orders. He made the decision to stay home. Theater of the minds – I imagine David completely aloof, roaming around the house like I do on days I am bored. Sloth-like movement around the house, just looking for something entertaining.

Enter decision #2 – David sees a woman bathing on the roof. The commentary could have stopped here, but instead, David looks long enough to make a judgement on the woman’t beauty.

Decisions #3 and #4

³ And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of ^mUriah the Hittite?” ⁴ So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house. 

Decision #3 – David sends for information about the woman. Again, remember this is a guy hanging out at the house while people are fighting wars at his command.

Decision #4 – The messenger returns with the news the woman is Bathsheba, who is married. David requests her to be brought to him anyway.

Consequence.

⁵ And the woman conceived, and she sent and told David, “I am pregnant.”

Decision #5

⁶ So David sent word to Joab, “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” And Joab sent Uriah to David. ⁷ When Uriah came to him, David asked how Joab was doing and how the people were doing and how the war was going. ⁸ Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” And Uriah went out of the king’s house, and there followed him a present from the king. ⁹ But Uriah slept at the door of the king’s house with all the servants of his lord, and did not go down to his house. 

Decision #5 – David doesn’t take responsibility for his actions. Instead, he sends a messenger to retrieve Bathsheba’s husband (who was fighting in the war David commanded….) in hopes Uriah (the hubby) would visit with his wife and the cover-up would be complete. However, Uriah doesn’t go home. He can’t imagine being in a place of comfort while his soldiers are fighting. Keep reading.

¹⁰ When they told David, “Uriah did not go down to his house,” David said to Uriah, “Have you not come from a journey? Why did you not go down to your house?” ¹¹ Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah dwell in booths, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are camping in the open field. Shall I then go to my house, to eat and to drink and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.” 

Decision #6

¹² Then David said to Uriah, “Remain here today also, and tomorrow I will send you back.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. ¹³ And David invited him, and he ate in his presence and drank, so that he made him drunk. And in the evening he went out to lie on his couch with the servants of his lord, but he did not go down to his house.

Decision #6 – David tried to get Uriah drunk and send him home. That didn’t work either. Get ready, it escalates quickly.

Decision #7

¹⁴ In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it by the hand of Uriah. ¹⁵ In the letter he wrote, “Set Uriah in the forefront of the hardest fighting, and then draw back from him, that he may be struck down, and die.” ¹⁶ And as Joab was besieging the city, he assigned Uriah to the place where he knew there were valiant men. ¹⁷ And the men of the city came out and fought with Joab, and some of the servants of David among the people fell. Uriah the Hittite also died. ¹⁸ Then Joab sent and told David all the news about the fighting. 

¹⁹ And he instructed the messenger, “When you have finished telling all the news about the fighting to the king, ²⁰ then, if the king’s anger rises, and if he says to you, ‘Why did you go so near the city to fight? Did you not know that they would shoot from the wall? ²¹ Who killed Abimelech the son of Jerubbesheth? Did not a woman cast an upper millstone on him from the wall, so that he died at Thebez? Why did you go so near the wall?’ then you shall say, ‘Your servant Uriah the Hittite is dead also.’ ”

Did you catch decision #8? MURDER the husband. Talk about a cover-up. King David (this is the humble shepherd pulled from the pasture, who defeated Goliath, that David) is now orchestrating the death of one of his own men for the sake of covering-up David’s own sin.

Let’s skim down to the final versus of the chapter.

Decision #8

²⁶ When the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she lamented over her husband. ²⁷ And when the mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.

Decision #8 – David brings Bathsheba to live with him when the mourning period was over. The cover-up made good, right? Keep reading through 2 Samuel for the next few chapters, it doesn’t end well.

The Fine Art of Decision Making

We see David make decision after decision to the point he starts off with an “innocent” glance that takes a detour through adultery before ending in murder. David said a small “yes” to the glance. A small “yes” to finding out who she was. Then the “yeses” become easier, not because of nature of the decision, but because we had already been okay with the first few decisions.

The fine art of decision making requires intentionality and discipline in what feels like small or meaningless “yeses” because they are far from meaningless. Each yes we say can set-us up for being brave and courageous (think David and Goliath) or position us for unnecessary pain (David and Bathsheba).

Teacher Life

We make daily decisions in the classroom which impacts our students directly. Say “yes” to taking care of yourself, teachers. Your students depend on it. Say “yes” to mentoring students, coaching, or volunteering at church. And if you find yourself saying “yes” to situations which drain life from your calling – start saying “no.” Say “no” to those water cooler complaining sessions turn rumor mill. Our students need role models who value the small “yes” and “no” decisions and explain the how and why behind the decisions.

Why did you say “yes” to keeping your car for 10k more miles when it stresses you out? How do you manage to say “yes” to financial giving on limited income (probably because you are saying “no” somewhere else)? When do you say “yes” to new relationships? How do you say “no” to old friendships?

Students need our mentorship. From a community college perspective, we must desire our positions to extend beyond teaching course curriculum for the sake of our communities. Saying “yes” to serving in voluntary positions (advising centers, tutoring), makes it easier to say “yes” to sponsoring a student club, which makes it easier to say “yes” to leading a small group.