Stepping Outside of the Comfort Zone

As I sat listening to the first speaker, I wondered what the girls were thinking about other than the topic. Our fall retreat spanned from Friday afternoon to Sunday service. We enjoyed lake views and a gorgeous cabin setting to set the vibe. The student who coordinated the weekend put in the effort to arrange speakers and worship leaders. She set-up a schedule of study, worship, and fun. The group who came isn’t what either of us really imagined – about half were regular attenders and the other mostly new.

Confessions of a Campus Ministry Leader

Late on the second night, during the final session, I spent more time than I should thinking about how the girls would fail to grasp the heavy topic. I just knew they wouldn’t see the connection. We sat outside, under a gazebo with temperatures just chilly enough to require a blanket. As I saw students snuggle with their blankets in the over-sized patio chairs my thoughts centered on theirs. What were they thinking? I don’t want to write this, because I don’t want to admit it, but I really did not see college students wanting to grasps something this heavy.

We moved inside and I began my “Martha” routine as the students call it. (Also known as, someone has to clean.) As I began cleaning up, one of the girls asked the final speaker, “what do you mean by ‘wrestle with it’?” The speaker used the phrase several times to challenge the girls to not dismiss new ideas. Instead, they could use her perspective as one to dig into scripture and answer questions that come to mind. We explained the process together and the student was ready. Let’s ‘wrestle.’ They sat at the same kitchen table we had shared all of our meals at and went on a two hour deep dive into hard and heavy topics.

Being Proven Wrong

At the same time, the other girls were upstairs and we needed to finish writing thank you cards for the owners of the cabin we used for the weekend. A student leader went upstairs to encourage some momentary focus. She came back downstairs and shared their conversation was about the first topic of the day. The speaker led us to nail to the cross what separates or distracts us from our faith.

After two-days of temperatures warm enough for sunset swims in the lake, at 11pm, the rain came. Fat, cold rain drops pelted the metal roof of the cabin and we ran outside, squealing as the cold shock hit our faces. We gathered back under the gazebo and began to talk. Some of the girls started sharing about their resentment, bitterness, and distractions while the others shared similar feelings and experiences. As the girls talked, I checked through the window to look at the kitchen table, the ‘wrestling’ still in full force. We asked questions, we reframed motivations, and ultimately left to go back inside with some soul wrestling to work on.

Me. The huge fan of college students, ultimate cheerleader…

Me. The huge fan of college students, ultimate cheerleader, did not trust students to get it. I did not trust they would care enough to even try. They proved me wrong. I found myself in a major heart check at the end of the weekend.

One, that I failed to trust the desires of these girls, who are admittedly immature in their faith, to fully engage in the weekend. This retreat marked a first for our campus organization. They came with no idea if it would be worth their time or sacrifice of their break.

Two, how much more seriously I need to invest in the discipleship of students who lean-in and listen. At one point in the weekend, a student said she hadn’t been discipled and it stung, because she’s right. I’ve been available, I’ve encouraged her, we’ve worked through studies together…but I’ve not been intentional about discipleship.

Won’t He Do It

The weekend retreat placed us in an area of questionable cell signal. Yet, on Sunday morning, one of the girls noticed she had full service. Then looked at me and said, “wow, I really guess I needed to be here and focused this weekend.”

The only response I could muster, “won’t He do it.”