The Enneagram. The personality conversation sweeping the Christian circuit creates conversations all about “your number.” This summer, Annie F. Downs created a podcast series for each of the 9 core types of the Enneagram and created, #EnneaSummer2019.

My first love – Myers-Briggs

I love personality assessments. I took the Myers-Briggs assessment as a high school junior and over the course of 10+ years, the results never changed. It fascinated me how I could experience so much life and growth, yet these core traits stayed consistent.  Part of me finds the idea of consistency comfortable, but it also leaves me somewhat frustrated. I don’t like all parts of my personality.

My First Round of Myers-Briggs

The Myers-Briggs is a trait assessment with 16 potential outcomes. You can check it out for yourself at the free resources, 16personalities.com – this isn’t the “real” assessment, but I have found it to be accurate (and as a bonus, free)!  I am an ENTJ, which comes down to someone who needs to be around people, doesn’t focus on details, prefers tasks over emotion, and avoids failure.  I struggled mostly with the 3rd letter – T. In this category you ultimately value getting the work done over how people feel along the way. I often skirt away from emotions or feelings for the sake of getting work finished. But, I love people – I don’t do well not being around others for extended periods of time so the balance between those two ideas seems impossible, at minimum frustrating.

While the assessment does address our traits, the Myers-Briggs doesn’t address are the motivations behind our behaviors. As promised last wee, enter the Enneagram.

Jumping into the Enneagram, literally.

When I heard about the Enneagram, my big picture non-detail oriented self didn’t ask a lot of questions. I jumped in to find an assessment tool and dove head first into finding my type to understand what it means. Let me warn you up front, when you find your number – it cuts deep. As someone who avoids feeling pain, it wasn’t easy to read paragraphs of information which left me feeling exposed to the world.

What is the Enneagram?

As a reminder, the Enneagram offers 9 types numbered 1-9 and you can get really deep into having a wing (having a core number, but some tendencies for the personalities on either side of the number – for example 7 wing 6 or 7 wing 8) and different subtypes/instincts. I have my core type and wing figured out, but the rest is still a work in progress (and that’s okay…it is kinda part of the Enneagram point). 

While there are assessments you can take to determine your type (I’ll share one below), most experts recommend you reading through the descriptions of the types (also posted below) and see which describes your motivations the best. It’s hard for a multiple choice test to really analyze our heart and motivation, you’ll have to do the heavy lifting and honest self-reflection. What I have found to be true, the one that leaves you feeling seen in the way a good hug makes you feel and makes you wonder who entered into your brain for the not so great parts is probably your number.

For me… I am a 7 w 8 and I know because when I read the description, parts of it made me physically cringe at the accuracy and recounting moments of my personal history.

My Enneagram 7w8 Life

So what is life like as a 7w8? Here are some of the highlights from my experience!

• I am an eternal optimist! This is something I love about being a seven, but also struggle with at times. If there is a tense moment or conflict situation, I will find the silver lining…even if the other person doesn’t want one; I will crack a joke in poorly timed moments because I don’t enjoy the weight of sadness, anger, etc.
• I love spending time with people! This works out great because I am a teacher and find myself surrounded by humans most days. Summer break can weigh me down if I don’t carefully plan human interaction.
• I am READY. If you ask, “hey, you want to run to the store?” for unplanned trip… I AM READY. Like right now. So if you aren’t really ready to go…it was a suggestion for a plan in the future… ugh! LET’S GO RIGHT NOW. 🙂 Patience is something Jesus works on me daily.  I banned myself from Amazon Prime last year… it was necessary, hard, and beneficial.
• I avoid pain. All of it. Physical, emotional, spiritual. This is the thing about being a seven I find hard because I want to grow and I love adventures. Adventure and growth requires pain. Hiking, something I love, requires the risk of physical pain – it keeps me from climbing certain trails for the pure sake of potential pain. Emotional pain pushes me away from friendships or participating in deep conversations. This aversion also keeps me from truly reflecting on personal areas to grow. Avoiding spiritual pain looks like me not praying for big things because I don’t want the pain of disappointment.
• FOMO – the fear of missing out is REAL to me. This means I will say “yes” to outings I am not really into for the sake of being with people. It’s cool because I get to experience new and mostly fun things. But on the flip side of the coin, if I see a post on social media of people I hang out with and I did not receive an invite… I can weep. It can even irk me to miss out on information for a project – I don’t like being left out – in any shape for or fashion. I will also feel frustrated when “everything” seems to be happening on the same day at the same time and I can’t be at them all.
• I’m good in a crisis. I can disconnect from the emotional pain for the sake of getting necessary things done. I will have to address the pain after the fact, but in the moment my brain moves quickly.
• Procrastination – you would think as a fun-haver this would be an issue, but it is not. Because I love fun and hate pain I follow the “just do it” mentality. I get to the airport early because the stress of being late is not fun. When writing papers, I start before they are due because technology issues are real and again…stress is not fun. Finally, I also don’t like to wait, even on myself.
• New adventures fuel me, but I move on to new things often. I am okay with things being 90% finished – as an A in school 90’s worked, but I never completely finished (Think paper written, but what is proofreading.) A room in our house holds our 90% done projects – quilting, knitting, painting, music… if it can be a hobby, I’m game.
• Knowing I am a 7 helps me be a better teacher – I can be overwhelming to introverted students; I can move too quickly for thinkers; I can overexcite the already excited. Knowing how my “seven-ness” shows up in the classroom and also understanding the other numbers allows me to authentically show up every class period. As someone who doesn’t want to be left out and loves to talk, I struggle to understand the quiet student who would rather work alone. The language around the Enneagram has helped me reframe those moments. Sevens reframe situations to be more positive or come up with possible reasons to justify behavior in others. It can be blinding, but can also build empathy.
• The unhealthiest versions of me shows up first as a perfectionist – controlling, demanding, and never satisfied. I begin hurling my
  self into addictive patterns – caffeine and behaviors, such as “having to” do certain things every day in certain ways.  At my worst, I physically run – escaping impulsively to other cities or even states.
• Maintaining freedom is so important to me – I do not like the idea of being committed – even making simple appointments makes my heart hurt. I desire to be available. 7’s and 8’s both avoid pain; however, the 8 wing really highlights my desire to be self-reliant and stay in control.  For example, when we travel I schedule time to be spontaneous… is that even possible? Well, I say it is and will give us a set amount of time to do whatever… the seven loves spontaneous fun, the 8 wants control. Balance.
• 8’s – Described on the Enneagram Institute website as “rugged individualist”    I feel that. I don’t want to be part of the crowd, but I don’t want to be left out either.
• My 8 wing also describes my personal drive for success; however, when it comes to conflict or risk-taking, I find myself back in the world of 7’s

What about you and your number?

Interested in finding your type? Start with taking an online assessment, while your result may change as you do more research, I do think it helps you narrow down your focus. Ask people close to you who know the 9 types what they see – sometimes we can be too critical or too easy on ourselves when we self-report answers on an assessment. Friends and family can help us see our blind spots. You can also hire an Enneagram Coach! I know several businesses, Greek organizations, and churches who hired a coach in order to learn how to work/live together better.

Once you’re pretty sure about your type read about it, learn about how to grow, and reflect on where you fall on the scale of healthiness. Finding a counselor to help move on the scale to a healthy you is always a solid idea.

Why Personality Assessments?

16 Personalities, Strengthfinder, Enneagram – regardless of the assessment we must use these tools for the goal of serving other people better and learning how our uniqueness builds strong communities. As I learn more about myself, I also excitedly learn more about the people in my life – looking for ways to encourage, love, and serve them better in times of healthiness and struggle.

Favorite Enneagram Resources:

Finding your type – Your Enneagram Coach free test  (subscribing to their newsletter required for your results)

Type Descriptions @ Enneagram Institute 

http://www.anniefdowns.com/podcast/  – look for the Summer 2019 series and home of #EnneaSummer2019

This link is an affiliate link.  As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This doesn’t add to the cost for you, but allows me to earn a small commission. 

 Read The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery

Follow @justmyenneatype on Instagram!

Once you have found your number, go listen to your song! The 7 song made me weep (yes, feelings… I know). http://www.sleepingatlast.com/

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