Students, do you desperately want to avoid being noticed on campus? Or is it the opposite – you desperately want to stand out and be seen? Teachers, do you wonder why students don’t ask questions? Well, I’m sitting at a coffee shop with my earbuds in. No music, podcasts, Netflix. My ear buds are in as a tactic to maintain focus, mostly by avoiding human interaction.

Parker Palmer refers to this as ‘avoiding the live encounter’ (The Courage to Teach). Mentoring college students gives me an inside advantage to understanding the strategies students use to avoid contact with … us. (Ouch, that hurts).

Avoiding the Live Encounter

Here’s a quick summary of the different strategies students consider when completing assignments. [ > = better than]

Not knowing > guessing > sending an email > asking after class > office hours > asking in class.

Pretty much, out of all the above options, not knowing reigns victorious over the rest. Next, guessing and including an explanation of the guess with the submission (typically online). If the student really wants an answer, they will send an email with the question – even during class.

Ultimately, the desire to avoid a live interaction is high, real, and motivating. Students will find friends to answer phone calls on their behalf. Some will research their instructor’s teaching schedule and purposefully leave a note or paper at their office during another class session.

At the end of the article, I’ll address the strategies to avoid detection on campus. Hang tight. But first, we need to include teachers in the conversation, too. We aren’t innocent in avoiding live interactions.

Teachers…Guilty Too.

But, here’s the deal… I see teachers doing similar behavior. Professors trading online classes for in-person options. Likewise, students hear the famous sentence, “that’s not my job” (or specialty) when asking for help outside of course content. Additionally, teachers will complain about students not coming during office hours. Yet treat visiting students as lesser than. We know teachers who use power, status, and/or titles to create social distance for control. Classrooms with more focus on content and little to no allowance for questioning.

As it seems, the institution of education tends to facilitate a division in our community with titles, metaphorical ivory towers, and academic…well…junk…academic junk. A sense of community natural feeds the learning process with a warm environment, shared desire to grow, and courage in numbers.

Community is Critical. Period.

We are wired for community. Some of you reading this do not want to hear that truth because isolation feels safer. Nonetheless, community creates an environment rich for learning, growing, and sharing. I wrote about classroom hospitality a few weeks ago, which plays a part in building community. The rest of this article shares ideas on how to bridge the gap between our fear of human interaction and need for community!

Anticipate Needs:

Examples of biblical community often address the needs of the group. As a teacher, how can we anticipate needs of our “live encounter avoiding” students? Simple modifications to our communication preferences can increase the frequency of students asking for help versus just guessing. I use Remind text messaging to answer class related questions. Students find the tool more familiar. Students who would not email the same question will text it – I find that encouraging. Teachers should allow time for conversations and questions. “Coming in hot” to class and running lecture until the bell says, “my voice carries more value than your questions.” Don’t send that message.

Students. You can help, too! If you think of a question during class, ask it in class. I know it seems overwhelming and scary, but please ask. Most likely, other people want to ask it, but won’t. Then only some people will stay after and ask, fewer will email, and some won’t ask at all. Ask the question, for the sake of the greater good.

Together, we can be present. Students and teachers alike can demonstrate respect to the classroom community by showing up and communicating. If you cannot attend class (students) or need to cancel class (teachers) – communicate. Provide explanation, plans for success, and a plan for the next round of communication. Teachers, provide opportunities to explore course content outside of class; students, take said opportunities. The best way to anticipate needs – know each other.

Courage:

Teachers, we need to address bravery when we see it. Even small steps… actually, especially small steps. Showing up on day one – brave. Day one of college comes with a tornado of feelings. Wow. If you found this the night before your first day – tomorrow matters and you are brave! Did your students try something new? Brave! Someone started a new job – brave! An advisee changed their major? Brave!

Additionally, teachers we need to stop acting like visiting our offices is a comfortable experience. We show up to our office daily, of course we don’t think twice about it. Students think A LOT about the visit. They think about when to visit, how to greet us, what to call us, why to visit… Make your office warm, inviting, and comfortable.

Together, we can build bravery in each other by saying hello in public. Yes. Outside of the classroom – be it on campus or in Walmart, if you see a student or your teacher, say hello. I didn’t realize how much of a thing seeing a teacher out in public was until I became one. Wow! Teachers, our students flat panic to see us in the real world. Smile. Say hello. Students, be brave! Smile. Say hello.

Compassion:

In my syllabus, I added a policy (not this policy, although I do include it in my syllabus, too). I call this policy, “The Human Being Policy.” In it, I detail what it means for me to teach as a human being. The policy includes how people make mistakes. I explain how to address mistakes graciously. Finally, I offer to help find a different course with a non-human teacher, but no guarantees to find one.

Everyone needs compassion – students and teachers. Yet, far too often neither group experiences the kindness of compassion. Together, we can greatly improve on demonstrating compassion with words of gratitude and praise. Little compliments create a foundation for a compassionate culture. Open doors for each other. Offer to help with something outside of the confines of the classroom [ie: proofreading a resume, finding a mentor, understanding budgets].

How to Avoid Encounters:

Before I get there – if you struggle with social anxiety, please seek medical counsel. What I am referring to here falls more into the category of discomfort in new things, not anxiety.

You came here to avoid the live encounters, to go under the radar, well – I can’t let you do that… at least not totally. However, I can share some tips on how daily decisions can reduce the not so fun aspects of detection in college. I learned this the hard way after failing a midterm. I failed it somewhat on purpose (enough bonus points stocked up to make up the difference). That did not stop the 7 phone calls concerned about my academic success.

6 Strategies To Avoid Detection in College:

1. Attend class – don’t miss unless you legitimately must. Missing class too often, particularly on smaller campuses, will raise red flags. You’ll get emails and phone calls – even letters home.
2. Send polite emails – asking questions so you can submit work done correctly will help you stand out and stay out of the spot light. Rude or poorly written emails get talked about (teachers, can we stop doing this?) Polite emails can also put you ahead of your peers.
3. Turn in your work. Turning in good work regularly keeps you from being notified by academic counselors. Low GPAs often include required tutoring hours.
4. Be nice. Again, rudeness will spread and call attention to you.
5. Don’t hide behind your laptop. Some teachers cannot stand a student hunkered behind a laptop. While it may feel like refuge, it can bring more attention to you as the teacher tries to get you out of your computer. Use your laptop, but make eye contact from time-to-time to show your teacher you are listening.
6. Participate. This seems counter-intuitive, I know. BUT, selecting one or two activities/groups to participate in will simply serve you well in your time at college and future life. So there, it has nothing to do with avoiding detection. But when being seen matters and you want community, I want you to know where to find it.

We need community.